


F MY LIFE

by Eloarei



Category: Hanna Is Not A Boy's Name
Genre: Blogging, Crack, Dysfunctional Family, M/M, MPreg... kind of... maybe?, OOC character, O_o, absolute crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-07
Updated: 2012-11-07
Packaged: 2017-11-18 04:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/556968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eloarei/pseuds/Eloarei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Mr. Hatch utilizes social networking sites to complain about his son.</p>
            </blockquote>





	F MY LIFE

**Author's Note:**

> I tend to forget, but I actually wrote this story based on an FML that was worded just WAY too perfectly to pass up.

Mr. Hatch looked up from his laptop just in time to catch the fin of Veser's hoodie disappearing around the corner of the stairwell. He grumbled and shook his head, then went back to his Livejournal entry. 

“Veser's been avoiding me for months. Whenever he's not at college or out with his friends, he's holed up in his room. He never comes down for dinner. I haven't talked to him face to face for weeks, and the last time was through the crack in his bedroom door. I don't know what's gotten into that boy.” 

OoOoO

Another night, another dinner that Veser refused to come down for. 

“Fine,” Mr. Hatch grumbled. “You're an adult now. I won't force you to eat.” 

The man had just settled back down at his computer when he heard a knock at the front door. Standing tiredly from his spot on the couch, he went to answer the door and was unsurprised to find his best friend Lee standing there with that hesitant but friendly smile he usually wore. However, he was not expecting the nature of Lee's visit to be any different than normal, and was slightly taken aback when the blonde man made his way up to Veser's room after a quick greeting with his old friend. 

Shrugging, Mr. Hatch went back to his laptop and pulled up his Facebook account. 

“Lee has been coming over more often than normal,” he typed into his status update bar. “But he mostly only wants to talk to Veser when he comes. I wonder what the hell they're up to.” 

OoOoO 

It was break time at work, so Mr. Hatch decided to call his home-phone's voicemail, hoping to hear back from a man about renovating his basement. Instead, he heard the somewhat-familiar voice of the stuffy Englishman who did his taxes every year. 

“Veser, please pick up,” he man said in his message. “I know this is a rough time, but I'd really like to be there, to help. Please at least tell me that you're all right. I... hope to hear from you soon.” 

_That's strange,_ Mr. Hatch thought, listening to the message again. _Why the hell would Mr. Tibenoch be calling for Veser?_

He attempted to put the voice message from his mind, but it wouldn't stop bothering him. Hoping that talking about it would help, he pulled his phone back out and brought up the mobile Twitter application. 

“Theres def sumthing odd goin on w/ Veser. Y would he b talkin 2 my tax man? Im gonna confront him about it 2nite if it kills me!” 

OoOoO 

The light was on in Veser's bedroom when Mr. Hatch got home, so he decided now would be the best time to finally figure out what was going on with his son. 

He pulled off his heavy work boots and climbed the stairs to Veser's room, knocking roughly on the locked door and hoping the boy would answer for once. 

There was a moment of tense silence, and then Mr. Hatch could hear the lock sliding on the other side of the door. The door cracked open, and Veser peeked through. 

“What?” he asked, obviously not in the mood to deal with his father. 

“Veser, we need to talk. What is up with you lately? You've been avoiding me, and whenever we do talk you're moody as hell! And why have you been getting so many calls from Lee and Mr. Tibenoch? I want to know what's going on!” 

Veser stared through the cracked door for a minute, then heaved a sigh and pushed the door open wider. Taking a deep breath, he looked his father in the face, mustered all the courage he could find and said, “Dad. I'm pregnant. And the father is either Lee or Ples. ...Sorry I didn't tell you before.” 

Mr. Hatch stared at his son in dumb silence for a least a full minute, until Veser closed the door in his face. At that point, he blinked and shook his head, still hardly believing what he'd just heard. Staring blankly ahead, he made his way down the stairs and collapsed on the couch next to his open laptop. 

Mechanically, his head turned towards the thing, and he picked it up and placed it carefully on his lap. His fingers felt numb, but they began to type in a URL as if on auto-pilot. It was only a moment before he was typing out his lamentations for all the world to see, the reality of the situation sinking in further with every word he typed. 

“Today, I found out my 19 year old son is pregnant. The father is either my 42 year old best friend, or the 37 year old man who does our taxes. FML.”


End file.
